"...there is a need for you to be happy."

The Parallel between Air and Money

Earlier this week a good friend stopped into town to visit. We ate great sandwiches at the local Straw Market...they have the best! cinnamon rolls ever and I love their grilled cheese and veggie sandwiches... anyways afterwards we were driving through places I grew up and decided to drive up to visit the Monastery in the Valley (I found out they don't sell honey anymore but, they do sell jelly and I was super excited about that and will adding it to my list of things to do).  He is such a wise person and I love listening to him because he is so smart and very well rounded when it comes to good things in life.  We came to the topic of death and I was talking to him about what I learned recently about it and how I was trying to view it differently than I always have.  I had completely forgot but, last year he was driving on his way to see his grandma...maybe on his way back, I'm not sure but, he hit black ice and long story short, the next thing he knew the Jaws of Life were being used to get him out of his car.  He told me that was death not something to fear. He said it was one of the most peaceful things he has ever experienced in life and it shouldn't be something we need to be so afraid of.
We were also discussing working and money, things like that, he's such a wise person... I'm grateful for him because I learn so much from him.  He has come to the conclusion that all money is for is to buy us more experience. We buy food so we can eat and what does that give us? One more day of life to give us more experience.  We choose to spend money on the things we want an experience in or with.  I thought that put it in an interesting perspective.  He also pointed out that it's a lot like air.  Our society has made it a necessity so it is. We need money to live, well honestly at least, but, it's like air because if you have more of it then you need it's not going to do much more for you once your needs are met. Cool, huh? I thought so.

So money is necessary because we have made it become so but, what happened to the simplicity of life? Sometimes I just crave to have it be simple where you work for what you need and that is that.  I am extremely grateful for the things that have made life easier and the advancements society has made but, sometimes I feel that we use the things we have been given more than we should or take them farther than their purpose intended.  I was discussing this as well with another friend and he pointed that out to me.  He also said that too much water can kill you. Ya some things are needed but, too much of a good thing is never that great in the end.  We also discussed how fulfilling it is to get out and just do hard physical labor. Like gardening or farming can be hard work but, it is SO rewarding when you reap the benefits of it and it's not just something that you put in your bank account but, something you put right on your table.  I think much of society has lost the value of good hard work like that. And I will admit I am included in that.

So...my Washington trip fell through. Big bummer. I was looking forward to having life solved on that trip for some reason but, I realized something and that is that maybe my biggest fear is feeling like I need to have adventures that other people look at and see and say, "wow, that looks like an adventure," and then not having one that I feel others would see.  I've realized that I create realities in my head first of how things are or how I think other people think they should be and in due time it has become my reality for better or for worse. So I'm going to try to overcome my fear of not being seen and try to see something inside of me or close to me, or something that I'm in and that is an almost secret and silent adventure that I can be proud of and grow from.  I will be where I am at. I will go from there. I will explore. It will be an adventure, and I will learn to be happy from it, and I will love it, and if possible I'll try to share it.

I think this movie is so strange but, part of me really loves it...maybe it's just curiosity about it's creativity or that it's just totally weird. Either way I liked this quote:

It's true.  Just like watching a sunset from a mountain top. It's nice when someone else is there experiencing that with you because if you both see it and experience, then you know it's a reality and that it's beauty is something that is real. Sometimes sharing is just another way to make sure we're not completely crazy.



It is now 4/8/2013 and I just realized that this movie isn't even the same one I was thinking of! I was thinking of where the Wild Things Are...that weird kid show. So this is embarrassing I don't know why I thought it was the same....Really I don't. But It's ok. It's still a good quote. And I did like a quote from the other movie...It must've been similar to this...right?

Begin

The best way to learn is with your heart.  The best way to overcome fear of the unknown is to step into it and then you will begin to know it. The best way to change is to act.  Remember:

All Beginnings are hard. . . . And sometimes I add what I have learned on my own: "Especially a beginning that you make for yourself. That's the hardest beginning of all."

In the Beginning by Chaim Potok

 The only way to succeed is to fail at least once. Do  not be afraid of failure. Do not be afraid to begin because you don't think you will succeed or finish. Learn, love, feel with your heart.
I failed yesterday. I have a goal to look for someone to serve everyday.  I took a last minute trip down to Salt Lake to meet up with a friend.  The place we were heading was closed so we walked around downtown SLC just talking.  My charity failed as I made up excuses or said nothing to bums asking for change along the way.  The opportunities were right in front of me but I made up excuses and left them.  How is that my place to judge whether they need it or not? I had change but, instead I spend it on frozen yogurt that I didn't even need.
I don't think it's a coincidence that we come into contact with the people that we do. I don't think our paths crossing others is ever an accident. I am so grateful for that. Every single person I have ever met has affected me somehow. They have helped shape who I am today. I learn more about myself with each person I come in contact with. People are absolutely fascinating! And each as something great to offer if we choose to see it.
 I have realized I don't express my love and appreciation to those people that have come into my life and stayed.  Why is it we don't until they leave, and sometimes when it's too late?
The only time we have is now because we don't ever know what tomorrow will bring.
I failed but today I can succeed and serve someone.

Life is a beautiful gift. I truly believe it is.  I believe this Earth is a gift. I believe our bodies are a gift.  The people in our lives are gifts. All of these gifts are all so different but they are each special and I believe they are even sacred.  We can't take advantage of everything we've been given but, we can try. Sometimes that's all we need to do or can do, is try.

Things I Want to Do

-Run 

-Read

-Camp

-Hike

-Love

-Detox

-Do art

-Do yoga

-Run away

-Keep bees

-Go fishing

-Eat healthy

-Hold babies

-Rock climb

-Quit my job

-Go to Brasil

-Serve people

-Build a fixie

-Have courage

-Basket Weave

-Raft on a river

-Hike to a peak

-Drink raw milk

-Shop at the D.I.

-Have self control

-Take cool pictures

-Learn to weave rugs

-Sleep under the stars

-Share joy with people

-Go to Zions this week

-Eat rice with chopsticks

-Make 1000 paper Cranes

-Be where I'm at and love it

-Travel around in a VW bus

-Get over my fear of success 

-Mountain bike and crash....hard

-Let go of things that aren't necessary

-Go to the ocean and breathe the salty air

-Get rid of crap and keep only what I need

-Run in a field that goes for days in the sun

-Sit in silence and listen to the sounds in the mountains

-Smile at the sun and say, "If this isn't good I don't know what is!"

-Not worry about what people think and do what my gut tells me I should

-Laugh because I am genuinely happy doing the most basic and simple things I can

And the only thing keeping me from doing all these things right now is me.

"What do you call a mushroom that buys you Ovaltine? A Fungi! "

Simple as that.

Puzzle Pieces

Had the best conversation with my little sister last night. This was the advice she gave me using a puzzle piece as her analogy:

You can always force a piece to fit but, sometimes there's just a better fit. Or it's like a pair of jeans, you can fit into a 1 if you really wanted but, maybe a 3 would work better. (but she really can fit into 1s if she wants I'm pretty sure). 

 We talked about when you're a little kid and you're convinced that two puzzle pieces go together, they just have to! So you sit there and smash it until you make it fit and eventually you can but, that doesn't necessarily mean it's supposed to fit. I liked that. The only way to know if something fits is to be completely honest with yourself first.

VIVERE

I love when you listen to a song that you haven't for awhile and you can remember exactly what was going on at the last time you listened to it...it takes you back in time.  I heard this song...Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men...and it took me back to last summer and the fall right before I moved back home.  I loved this song.  I could think of the drive I would make every single day to the same house. This song always seemed to come up right as I was rolling through the stop sign. I'd sing it at the top of my lungs every time. It's crazy listening to this song now I realize how much it reflected what was actually happening at that time. I remember one day I woke up and I realized I didn't like where my life was at. I didn't want what was happening anymore. I didn't like how I felt and I wanted it to be different. I was sick of having spent the last twenty years of life waiting for things to happen. So I changed. I made a lot of changes. I made a lot of things happen. And some of them weren't all the best changes and I did some things that hurt people.  I regret that.  My mother always used to say, " People will forget what you did, they'll forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel." I've tried my best to fix those things as much as I can.  But you can't change the past. I've learned that when you make changes you have to remember you're still not the only one on Earth. The things you do will always effect at least one other person in some way. Make sure it's good.

I learned an interesting lesson the other day. Have you ever thought about death? Like really thought about it? If you look at the Earth, how has death affected the world? In regards to the environment, the Earth as a whole, the human population, animals, insects... I think it's something as humans we try to avoid because we don't understand it and for all of us we don't have an exact idea of how it'll be, just ideas of what we've been taught and how our culture views it.  Have you ever thought that if you actually came to embrace it you'd live a much better life? Whether you believe there was a life before this and a life after this, whether you believe that this is just it, whether you believe in God or not, if you believe in Reincarnation, or Resurrection, or what have you....how do you view death? One thing everyone knows is that it will happen. It happens to everyone. It can be so scary to think about. Knowing death will come but, knowing that you don't know when it will come, how will that make you live life?  Will you spend it in fear of the unknown? Will you spend it being angry and upset about everything around you? Will you spend it in drugs and alcohol, one night stands? Will you spend on things that will never satisfy? Who will you spend it with?And how will you treat those people you choose to spend it with? How will you live this life?  What will you leave behind when you go?

Think of it in nature. When a forest dies, it returns to the Earth and what does it do? What does it leave behind? It leaves nutrients, it provides space, It allows growth for new life.  When we accept death I believe it does the same. It allows us to grow and make good things out of what we have.  I think of my grandmother. Her death date of 13 years was yesterday.  What did she leave behind? Quite the legacy I will say. One that inspires me to live a better life. I want to be remembered as she was. She made people feel good. Everyone I meet has something wonderful to say about her. She was strong and she made a difference.

 I think whether or not we believe there is a life after this or not we should either live life because this is the only chance we have, or we should live life because what we do now is always affecting what we do later.  If this is the only chance we have do we really truly want to live it with no self control, in things that don't last, or on things? Or with people that don't make us better or that leave us feeling bad about ourselves?

 Embrace life! Embrace the fear of the unknown because it's the only way we'll know it. Embrace every good thing you can and appreciate what you have.  When you accept death you discover what're really the most important things in your life. 

Make a list of those things. Then read over it. Leave it for a day or a week and come back to it. Are those still the most important? And if they all aren't, what stayed consistent on your list? Based on that list, what can you change?