Time

I haven't written for awhile because I have been much better about writing in my journal everyday so I don't think about writing here anymore.  I am still learning. And I have realized that I am an incredibly lazy person.  Example 1:
I went climbing yesterday morning and only did v0-2s. v3-5...way too hard.  That would require work and me actually engaging my body.
Example 2:
I played racquetball for the first time ever yesterday.  First off, I think I am the least skilled human being on this planet when it comes to playing racquetball.  I tried to have a good attitude about it, but I think I only played 2 real games out of the 2 hours I was attempting to hit that blue ball.  At one point I said, "Man, you have to run pretty fast to play this game, huh?"  The guy I was playing with responded, "Yup." Well sorry, this girl is not going to do anything that requires her to sweat anymore.
Example 3:
I can't even do 20 push ups anymore. 20. 20! I hardly move my body anymore.
Example 4:
I have approximately 26 paintings due by Tuesday and I still have 26 left to do.  I would much rather eat apple pie, sing while my roommate plays Christmas songs on the guitar, find more things to eat, waste my time on Instagram, or go to bed by midnight.

I have lost the desire to work hard, something I was taught and learned to value growing up.   I used to run all the time, and hike, and climb hard everyday. I used to study and stay up all night to finish projects.  I used to exercise everyday and eat healthy.  I enjoyed sweating and being sore.  I enjoyed looking back on a job well done. I enjoyed working towards something that took a lot of time and effort.  I enjoyed work and I enjoyed working and serving with other people.

Earlier this week I finally made it to a practice room where I practiced piano for an hour.  It was so liberating.  I probably worked on one line for a half hour, but I felt good. I was working. It was definitely taking time, but I have learned that no matter what I am doing with my time, time will always pass regardless of my using it wisely or not. I might as well do something with my time before it is gone, right? I have also learned that you don't always have to do something bad when deciding on how to use your time.  You usually just end up doing something different that is not as good or beneficial to you or humankind.

I am going to start working hard again.  I will never fully feel the measure of what I have been created for if I do not work hard. I am going to set goals and make plans.  Too often I set goals, but nothing is achieved because I did not take the time to implement a plan to accomplish them.  I am going to work on overcoming myself and my fears through climbing again.  I am going to work harder in school because knowledge is power and I am happiest when I am learning.  Basically, I am going to start living a good life again because I am living far below my potential right now.