TV Dinners

Sometimes I think wanting is unrealistic. Why is risk so hard and why do we all claim to want to take them yet we never can bring ourselves to actually follow through? Why do we often take the easiest road when the harder road is more rewarding? Why do we allow ourselves to be complacent instead of content or constantly stressing about constantly improving in unrealistic ways when we should be content? Content with who we are but wanting to become better without becoming negative. Well...really. Why do I do all these things? Why do I allow myself to go along with what others want or what I think others want me to do...when it's not what I really truly want? and when it's not taking me towards any of my goals? Isn't that a waste of time if I'm accomplishing nothing that I want to work towards? So why stick with it? Why do we do that? Why do I do that? because it's easier? Because that's lame! To take the easy road....That's so dumb because where does the easy road get you? Usually someplace not that worthwhile. So why can't I have the courage to change and to stop settling back into what used to be....this may appear random but...it's not. Bear...bare?  with me. Don't judge...I've stopped reading and have been out of school for year back on subject.... Why is it that the only thing that seems to matter sometimes is what's for dinner and what's on TV?!! For reals...It's my mother's worst nightmare and it seems that I continue to have to keep living it. Heck let's combine the two to get TV Dinner. Joy. How easy is that. Pop something in the microwave with plastic on top to slowly give yourself cancer while you sit on the couch and watch a documentary on the ocean with sharks.  And that my friends is how you take the easy road.