VIVERE

I love when you listen to a song that you haven't for awhile and you can remember exactly what was going on at the last time you listened to it...it takes you back in time.  I heard this song...Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men...and it took me back to last summer and the fall right before I moved back home.  I loved this song.  I could think of the drive I would make every single day to the same house. This song always seemed to come up right as I was rolling through the stop sign. I'd sing it at the top of my lungs every time. It's crazy listening to this song now I realize how much it reflected what was actually happening at that time. I remember one day I woke up and I realized I didn't like where my life was at. I didn't want what was happening anymore. I didn't like how I felt and I wanted it to be different. I was sick of having spent the last twenty years of life waiting for things to happen. So I changed. I made a lot of changes. I made a lot of things happen. And some of them weren't all the best changes and I did some things that hurt people.  I regret that.  My mother always used to say, " People will forget what you did, they'll forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel." I've tried my best to fix those things as much as I can.  But you can't change the past. I've learned that when you make changes you have to remember you're still not the only one on Earth. The things you do will always effect at least one other person in some way. Make sure it's good.

I learned an interesting lesson the other day. Have you ever thought about death? Like really thought about it? If you look at the Earth, how has death affected the world? In regards to the environment, the Earth as a whole, the human population, animals, insects... I think it's something as humans we try to avoid because we don't understand it and for all of us we don't have an exact idea of how it'll be, just ideas of what we've been taught and how our culture views it.  Have you ever thought that if you actually came to embrace it you'd live a much better life? Whether you believe there was a life before this and a life after this, whether you believe that this is just it, whether you believe in God or not, if you believe in Reincarnation, or Resurrection, or what have you....how do you view death? One thing everyone knows is that it will happen. It happens to everyone. It can be so scary to think about. Knowing death will come but, knowing that you don't know when it will come, how will that make you live life?  Will you spend it in fear of the unknown? Will you spend it being angry and upset about everything around you? Will you spend it in drugs and alcohol, one night stands? Will you spend on things that will never satisfy? Who will you spend it with?And how will you treat those people you choose to spend it with? How will you live this life?  What will you leave behind when you go?

Think of it in nature. When a forest dies, it returns to the Earth and what does it do? What does it leave behind? It leaves nutrients, it provides space, It allows growth for new life.  When we accept death I believe it does the same. It allows us to grow and make good things out of what we have.  I think of my grandmother. Her death date of 13 years was yesterday.  What did she leave behind? Quite the legacy I will say. One that inspires me to live a better life. I want to be remembered as she was. She made people feel good. Everyone I meet has something wonderful to say about her. She was strong and she made a difference.

 I think whether or not we believe there is a life after this or not we should either live life because this is the only chance we have, or we should live life because what we do now is always affecting what we do later.  If this is the only chance we have do we really truly want to live it with no self control, in things that don't last, or on things? Or with people that don't make us better or that leave us feeling bad about ourselves?

 Embrace life! Embrace the fear of the unknown because it's the only way we'll know it. Embrace every good thing you can and appreciate what you have.  When you accept death you discover what're really the most important things in your life. 

Make a list of those things. Then read over it. Leave it for a day or a week and come back to it. Are those still the most important? And if they all aren't, what stayed consistent on your list? Based on that list, what can you change?