Recent Thoughts

I haven't written for awhile. I don't expect really anything I write to make sense to anyone. And to be honest I should probably change that. If I'm going to post my thoughts on the internet I may as well try to write to an audience and in a way that's understandable....but. This post won't fulfill that purpose just yet.

If I merely exist do I fail in the end?
I misunderstand. I need to first understand. Not seek to be understood.
Can I get out of the system that society often creates? Is it wrong to find happiness within it? No. I don't think it is. But it takes courage to break from it. And sometimes that will bring more happiness if it is right and in the search for Truth. Answers do exist. There will always be an answer to every question. I believe there is hope when you step to the edge of the light and then take another step into the darkness. That's when you really start to see and live.
Why do I seek to break from the system? Yet I also fear breaking from it because I know nothing else and my fear often keeps me in it. Why do I feel I am alone in it?
I'm not.
Who is seeking the same thing I am? How can I find them? Do I want to find them so I am not alone? Or so I can tell them they aren't alone?
There are so many people in this world. All different. It's so beautiful. And terrifying when you actually look and seek to understand. A person's eyes tell you a lot about them. Why is it that we try to avoid looking at people? We wish to stay in our own worlds, but in the end that won't do us any good.
What's the point of being surrounded by so many people? There's a reason.
I need to do something about that.
Can I find passion in people?
Can I seek to tell them they are not alone?
Who is it I am trying to find?
And if I search to find one person will I realize that the one actually ended up bringing me to everyone?
As I seek, as I see, as I feel, as I explore....how can I say you are not alone? You are not alone! I feel the same. You are not alone! He feels the same!

I am grateful that I have been taught the way to Christ and my Father. I will never understand everyone, and I may not be able to tell even one person that I know how they feel. But, because of Christ I will always be able to tell them they are not alone. Because Christ knows. He suffered for all, but he suffered for the one. He understands and he can teach me how to understand. And that is a very beautiful thing. We are not alone.
But what about fear? Well it'll be there. I'm realizing the more often I overcome Fear it will get bigger. The harder I try to leave him behind me the more he'll be in front of me. It'll be a constant struggle, but although Fear will get bigger, I'll get stronger and I'll be able to keep moving forward in my search to reach out to those around me.