And So It Begins...

Ah! I'm doing it! I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and of being completely responsible. Bought a round trip plane ticket to Hawaii for just over $300 last night. Seriously that's the most money I've dropped besides tuition in my whole life I'm pretty sure!  So in two weeks I'm going on the trip of my life. Up to Portland and Washington with two of my best friends from high school. We'll do some sweet couch surfing and camping on the beach. Hiking through national forests, kayaking in the sound, touring Seattle. MHMMM. I haven't been on the coast since I was like 8 or 9. I haven't even seen the ocean since I was 12. and I'm 21! and this is where the changes start coming in.
There's something so fascinating about the sea...something that for whatever reason I think will heal whatever is inside of me.

True or False: My first road trip without my parents was two weeks ago.

Actually. I just realized that was false, probably my first one was when I drove to St. George in the middle of the night from Provo to go skinny dipping with my roommates back in September. Hey, who wants to dip in Utah Lake? not I. The only logical thing is to drive clear to St. George to Sand Hollow I'm pretty sure.

So I'm making leaps and bounds here people.  Hiking on the coast, then sleeping on the beaches in Oahu (in legal places only I might add) a month later...Sweet donna. That's all I can say.
Now... I don't usually ever do things like this but, I'm living at home, just working, not going to school. Should I be saving every penny I ever make for when I start school again in the fall? Ya, maybe.  But once I'm in school will I ever be able to do this again? Probably not. This is a rare time in my life when I can be irresponsibly responsible with my decisions and make some sweet memories.
I am constantly planning for the future and trying to figure out all it's possible outcomes. Yes I am the person that likes to read the end of the book...but really I just want to read the end of my book. It'd make life so much easier! On a side note...The only book I give you permission to read the end of is Cry in the Night by Mary Higgins Clark if you hit the creepy part at midnight and you think you're gonna die...not that I know that from experience. But I mean really, you gotta know that ends happy or you wouldn't make it!
I've noticed I get so worried about the future, things that are completely out of my control  because well, hello! they haven't happened yet. I'm not saying don't prepare for the future, you definitely need to do that but, I've realized that I get so worried about what's going to happen and what might happen,and what's not happening that I forget to enjoy what is happening right now. And why should I want to skip to the end of my book? I'd miss all the good things that happened in the middle. It's the heartache, joy, and pain, combined with the unknown strength and discovery along the way that makes the adventure what it is.
There's a quote that I keep referring back to lately by Tolstoy:

Remember then: there is only one time that is important-Now! It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.

And that is so true. I can do anything I want but, I can't do everything. I want to do so much but, physically I cant' do everything right this moment. I can make choices to do certain things right now, today, and it will begin to create what my future will be. With each moment I have a choice that will affect the next one. That seriously is one of the coolest things ever. You can't change anything else but, yourself. You can only do it one moment at a time but, you can start now. And when you fail one moment, then you'll be on to the next and you can succeed, or find another way that doesn't work but, overtime with each reaction and choice you'll find success. Take every chance. Drop every fear. (Thank you Pinterest). Take the opportunity you've been given and don't worry so much about missing out on another one. If you wait for something perfect...you'll be waiting a long, long time. Action is what takes you the direction towards that perfection. You have to make the opportunity perfect because it will never be perfect on it's own.
So I will be an adventurer. I'll take this opportunity, thank you. And I will enjoy the journey as well as the destination. And I'll try to relax and not worry so much while I do it.